You know that girl who shows up on your Facebook feed, constantly bragging about how #blessed her life is? The one who visits the farmers market every week to pick up locally grown vegetables for her organic baby food, then sews quilts and bakes bread from scratch while her child naps?
You usually see that girl’s post right after you’ve picked up a Hot-N-Ready pizza from Little Caesar’s because at the end of yet another hectic day, you can’t even pull yourself together enough to order pizza from someplace where you need to call ahead.
Sometimes I really resent that girl. And while I’d love nothing more than to just block her posts altogether, I can’t. You see, she and I are related.
Like, closely related.
Ok, she’s me.
Like many stay at home moms who had their shit together at the time, Cassandra 2008 even had a mommy blog. I kid you not, it’s very first post featured a bikini photo and some ridiculous haiku hoping it’d still fit next year.
(Spoiler alert: It didn’t.)
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you shouldn’t post about the fabulous things in your life. If you’re a vegan who loves attachment parenting and Crossfit, then by all means, you be you. But there are times when social media can feel like a competition, and thanks to Facebook’s “See Your Memories” feature, your biggest competition just might be yourself.
Seeing my memories has encouraged me to keep things a little more real when I post these days (which isn’t always easy, particularly if you still have any ex-boyfriends from college in your friend list).
Last night I was on a group chat when the topic of household clutter came up. A gauntlet was thrown when one friend declared, “You DO NOT want to get into a battle about who has more piles of crap with me. I will kick your ass!” What followed was a very comedic and refreshing series of photos to determine whose house most looked like a bomb went off.
I’ll admit that I’m guilty of cleaning my house like a madwoman an hour before company arrives, just to apologize for the mess as I open my door. So this exercise in transparency was incredibly encouraging because: a) I knew I was not alone, and b) I was not ultimately crowned the Queen of Clutter.
(My bathroom last night. And this afternoon.)
The thing is, even during our best times, the bad is still there. We just choose not to focus on it.
Sure, my 2008 self had plenty of free time that made it easier to work on personal growth and domestic endeavors. But she got bored often and was stressed about making ends meet.
On the other hand, even if you’re in a serious funk, the good is still there. You just need to look a little harder to find it. Because at the end of the day, it’s all about perspective, isn’t it? You can choose to either get discouraged or to be inspired.
Besides, in the end, that girl from all those years ago? You’re everything she is. And more.